Human Nature
As a writer and observer of people, I notice patterns, both here in the Pacific Northwest and back on the Plains where we grew up. I suspect it is throughout human culture, for it is also displayed in books, movies & shows, politics, etc.
I realize that, because of stereotypes, one might think that we Plainsfolk are stuck back in the “olden days” where men make the living, women are the domestic engineers, and most did not attend college. I assure you, though, that plenty of gals drive the wagon to town to work 9-to-5 in order to bring home flour and salt for biscuit fixin’s while the guys stay home to bring up the brood. (grin)(wink)
Really, though, in our modern times, I’ve expected better than what I’m seeing here. One reason we chose Orcas is because of its small town, friendly feel that reminded us of the hamlets that raised us, nestled between sandy prairies and cropland. Truly, back there, women are just as likely to do the family accounting and budget work then hop on a combine as are the men. Men are just as likely to feed the kids and clean up as are the women. Kids are encouraged to get good grades and work during the summers so they can attend college. There, people of all ages cry, laugh, and love without worrying about societal roles based on gender, age, etc.
Here….well, I’m not seeing practiced what is being preached.
In either location, humanity happens. Men can be bullies, but so can women. Women can be bullied, but so can men. All can and some do run from accountability. All can and some do run to fix problems.
Take this whole EWUA situation, for instance. There are two names associated with RecallWater. When people want to take the focus off the problems at EWUA and its Board, it is interesting how it is done.
Steve is a man (a strike against him, in some views here) who has an entrepreneurial spirit, an analytical brain that enjoys designing systems that work to help the most people in his community, and a phenomenal strength to “swim against the stream” when doing what is right, even if it takes facing hostility. Tenar is a woman (a strike against her, in some views here) who has an adventurous, nature-loving spirit, an analytical brain that ravenously feeds on numbers/math, and has experience being a treasurer for other organizations before she was the EWUA Board’s Treasurer/Secretary.
When Steve is judged as a “bad person” because he exposed the problems at EWUA, he’s a “developer” or “unsavory character” who is “driving the show” on his own here at RecallWater. If Tenar gets any of the focus, she’s judged as a “bad person” because she found and exposed the problems at EWUA. What is said about her is that she’s “inexperienced,” “moody,” “a puppet,” or “English isn’t her first language.” I’m seeing stereotypes and spin throughout all this name-calling and spreading of falsehood from the detractors. It’s a desperate attempt to get the Members not to focus on the real and fixable issues.
When we decided to “go public” like this, it was when all the typical, one-on-one and Board approaches failed. We knew this approach would gain us hateful backlash and rumor-mongering. So, we had steeled ourselves for that. To us, it was worth that cost so we could all work together to make sure these problems don’t keep happening or get worse.
However, what I wasn’t prepared for was the mafia-style intimidation and playground politics that is happening to people other than Tenar and Steve. If you don’t agree with the “good ol’ boy network,” you’ll see anger and shunning. You might lose customers, see donations to your cause dry up, or actually receive other subtle threats. Yet, I shouldn’t be surprised, I suppose. This, too, is part of human nature.
When one is caught doing wrong, you either admit it and make amends, or you frantically back pedal, hoping no one believes it or people won’t understand it for what it is. And, if your friend is caught, you don’t want to believe it. If another friend joins you in that unbelief and helps you shove things under the rug, it emboldens you to think you were right in your refusal to believe there was wrongdoing. And, it snowballs from there. Pretty soon, you get to convincing each other that, together, you’re “doing the right thing.” Then, it’s attack mode toward anyone who says otherwise.
However, there’s also something special about human nature. There’s a spark of goodness in people, too. It’s that little niggling at night when you’re alone….that little voice that says, “What if it really happened as Steve, Tenar, and several others say it did? What if they’re right and I’m wrong in what I’m doing?” When that little prick to your conscience is ignored… Well, let’s just say one becomes more calloused to doing what one ought to do for the sake of others. And, that inward focus will consume you alive. That’s not good for you. It’s not good for those around you.